Day 13 With Aloiz

Well after a very long cry last night, I wake up this morning asking God for His strengthen and direction.  I ask God to carry me, and help me know what to say and when.  Well at breakfast it ended up being just me and Aloiz, when we started eating I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.  Kinda like when you are going to share the Gospel, You feel it is the right moment but you don't want to mess it up, cause you may only have that one chance at that open door.  Except with this conversation I have to type everything and depend on Google translate to say what I mean, which it doesn't always do.  I was so scared to say the wrong thing, so I thought ok here it goes God, I got my laptop and started talking with him...I started with pictures of Riga, Latvia that had been posted. We talked about them for awhile.  Then I asked him if He would ever like to live in America? and he smiled real big and said yes.  So I told him I had heard that he was asked to be adopted before and he  said no, could he tell me why?  and he said that the lady laughed at him.  I asked why she would laugh at him? and he said she would make him say words in English and then laugh at him.  It made me so mad, but I held it in and said I was sorry she had treated him that way.  People absolutely kill me!  But I want go off on that right now.  We went on in talking and he also said they were boring, so I asked him if he thought we were boring and he smiled at me and said NO, I thought good cause that would of been a first. lol  I went in to share a little about my childhood and a little about my dad.  I let him know I did not grow up in a family like this, but I prayed for a family and God give me one.  I wanted him to know that he doesn't have to hide his life or what he has been through from us.  (I didn't say that but that is the reason for my sharing)  That he doesn't have to be perfect for us.  God has always laid it on my heart to us my childhood to help other children and so that is what I tried to do.  It wasn't long, I wish our time hadn't been cut short, but the family came walking in, so I finished there.  I really feel it was a special moment of sharing.  I think both of us feel a little better.  I pray for more of those special moments with Aloizs.  He is so special to us.  Thank you for all of your prayers we need them!  I'll share more of what is going on in our family conversations and more of the reason for my melt down in tears when the time comes.  I love you all thank you so much for sharing in this time of our life with us.  It means so much to me when I talk to some of you and you tell me you read this blog.  Good night I rest a little easier tonight